Sometimes, I have nights… and days where I get really frustrated with the people around me. And then I realize that often times my frustration is completely my own fault. My expectations of others are what results in the disappointment, hurt, or anger I feel towards other. I’m angry because I am being selfish, because I want what I want. I need to change that and realize that I’m going to be okay, and that in five minutes, things will be different. I can handle pretty much anything for five minutes. It may not be better or worse, but it will be different.
Sometimes, I also forget that I’m actually really happy and that nothing that happens to me can change that! I’m happy because the Lord loves me and because he allows me the freedom to choose how I want to feel. Unfortunately, every once in a while, I start to forget that I’m happy and get caught up with what is going on in the moment. I often lose track of how I want to feel all the time, by listening to how something else makes me feel in the moment! How foolish of me! I should never let my emotions be determined by anything but myself because I let know if I’m choosing with a clear head and sound mind, I’ll choose the way the Lord wants me to feel.
Life is about learning. And growing. And becoming better. For a long time I kept telling myself there were things to fix, things that needed to be gotten rid of. How self-deprecating! I don’t need to be “fixed.” Fixing something is the means to an end! I can ever end my weaknesses, they are there for a reason. So, now? Now I tell myself that I need to learn to do things better, I need to learn to be better because if I’m learning there is always room for change. If I am learning there is no expectation to be perfect, I am required simply to master things one small step at a time. You know what else is the amazing thing about learning? You NEVER have to stop.
“I must learn to love the fool in me the one who feels too much, talks too much, takes too many chances, wins sometimes and loses often, lacks self-control, loves and hates, hurts and gets hurt, promises and breaks promises, laughs and cries”
“The problem is not that there are problems. The problem is expecting otherwise and thinking that having problems is a problem.”
-Theodore Isaac Rubin (Both)